So I came up with some on-the-fly theories about Scrooge McDuck's money bin in response to a question asked in reference to this Facebook meme:

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=47491534893&ref=mf

I thought I would republish them here with some additions.

Question: How would it be like to swim in money?

Answer: Well, there were canononical ( Read more... )

This post is dedicated to Austin Bragg.

I admit it. I get stage fright. But, so do a lot of people. The difference between me and a lot of people is that I tend to lend things way more thought than they warrant.

Stage Fright Part 1: In the Bathroom

It's very difficult for me to use a urinal if there's someone else standing nearby, or even just in the ( Read more... )

So Jordana came up with the idea of having a "How well do you know Jordana?" game show at her birthday party.

Then I came up with the idea of making it elaborate, pirate-themed, and awesome.

I hope you all enjoyed playing Pirate Flim-Flam. In case you were curious, this is the game guide I wrote up for myself. Obviously I changed stuff during the ( Read more... )

I've decided I'm going to start walking with a limp when I'm in public. That way people will lower their guard when they're around me and attempt to perpetrate crimes. Little do they know that I'm faking.

IAN: I can probably count the number of times I've been drunk on one hand.
ME: Me too, but only if I've had a ton to drink and it looks like I have a thousand fingers. 

Sometimes the collective brilliance of the human race is staggering.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_problems_solved_by_MacGyver

Just a few gems:

MacGyver uses a pulley system fashioned from torn fabric, baling wire, and toy car wheels to assist a small dog in crossing a busy road.

MacGyver builds an incubator for eagle eggs with padding from a ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

The other day, my mother took my semi-senile, 94 year old grandmother out to lunch. Given that I'm the wonder of their universes, I of course came up in the conversation.

GRANDMOM: I'm so glad Daniel married Jordana instead of that other girl he was with.
MOM: What other girl?
GRANDMOM: You know, the one that cooks and talked all the time.
MOM: ???
( Read more... )

When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in ( Read more... )

The next time you're on a plane with a video-capable iPod and the weather gets a bit rough, put on a movie with a big battle scene. If you're lucky, the turbulence will synch up with on-screen weapon impacts and you'll be privy to a fun, more immersive viewing experience. Wrath of Khan works very well for this.